Single Soccer Mom vs The Spring Breakers

I recently had a 21 year old that I have frequent contact with make his interest known. When I tried to laugh it off, he told me quite seriously that it wasn’t a joke, he was interested. I made light of it, referencing the fact that when he was my age, I’d be getting ready to turn 60. There was some very flirty banter back and forth and some texting afterwards, all for fun.

Yet when I left, I started to actually consider it. What would it be like to have a fling with a 21 year old? After a couple of months of celibacy, I spent somewhat of a restless night thinking about it. Bottom line: I could absolutely sleep with him and not feel much guilt about it. The real question for me is how big of an emotional risk might exist for him. Part of me thinks that’s ridiculous, because he’s 21 and not looking to settle down with a 39 year old woman. Yet after many heartfelt conversations with him, I wonder how well he would handle a purely physical relationship with someone who is so much older. I also wonder how it would affect the friendship that’s developed between us over the past year.  Still, its flattering and frankly, a fantasy that’s been rolling around in my head since he said it. 40th birthday gift to myself???

Of course, I’m on the fence even more after going to a popular Spring Break destination with my kids. The wanton disregard for decorum, the complete entitlement and the debauchery all made me feel old. I can remember going to this destination with my family, during Spring Break, when I was 16. It was much tamer at the time, but I was thrilled to be there. All the boys! The excitement! Now, I just wished they would grow the hell up. Several of the 20-something men flirted with me even with my children present. I mostly just felt annoyed. How could they be so immature?

Then I thought of the 21 year old and I wondered if I could even go there with him. Once we were mouth to mouth, skin to skin, would the 19 year age difference really matter? Other than the fact that he’d actually be able to maintain an erection? Which frankly, sounds pretty damned good. Once the clothes are off, does it matter? I’m not sure. The one thing I’m certain of is that I wouldn’t want to even risk hurting him. Oh…and that I’m too old for Spring Break.

Maybe that should be my guiding principle when it comes to choosing a lover?

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