Winners of the day!

Rather than choose only one personals ad, I have found several. For your reading pleasure…

I just happened to be walking my dog in the Hurstbourne Lane area when I looked up at an apartment building and you were standing at your window topless, perfect as a figure cut out of a painting, your breasts so firm and yet plump in a way that suggested you would yield to the right touch. I went home and listened to classical music for an hour, trying desperately to recreate that feeling I had when I saw your breasts in the window, that transcendent serenity one feels only in the presence of art. When the music didn’t work, I baked a cobbler – apple, my grandmother’s most prized recipe – and sat on the floor of my living room, eating it with my hands, savoring not only the taste, but the warmth of the filling, and the just-right flakiness of the outside. I could’ve been in the remotest land on Earth, untouched by civilization – my perception felt that pure. All afternoon I’ve been floating inside; those breasts were a minor miracle in the midst of this gray, cold week. Thank you.”

Wow! That must have been some pair of breasts! Have you ever seen the movie “Sideways”? Well, I have a feeling he could have been the lead role…

“ME: A guy coming home to find you asleep in my bed.

YOU: Stunningly attractive blonde slightly undressed.

ME: Strangely bemused, but too tired and distracted by other women in my head to care.

YOU: Gone this morning when I woke up.

ME: Trying to determine from roommates who you were, but they have no clue (they really aren’t too conscious right now and think I am lying).

If you attended what must have been a great party last night (I can tell from the mess) and slept in some guys bed then please poke me back, I have some things here that might be yours. Also, let me know if you will be back tonight and I will change the sheets.

Finally, thank you for not taking my side of the bed, THAT would have been awkward”

Why does it not surprise me that this man is completely open to having a nameless stranger, that he’s not even really spoken with, reappear in his bed? At least he’s willing to change the sheets…

“Hey,
I’m looking for a special kind of lady for a long lasting friendship and relationship.
I’ll warn you now this isn’t for everyone so if your offended by sex please don’t read any further. I am looking for a fellow deviant a perverted soulmate.
I am a 30 somthing male looking for a woman with like taste kinks and fetishes. I love sex and I need someone with a voracious appetite as well as to total lack of inhibitions.
My tastes are different I love a woman who dresses up who plays the role of hooker or slut to the tee be open to anything any place and anyone cause I’m a voyeur and I love a show off.
Nothing is taboo to me other then pain. If you have ever wanted to have someone who wouldn’t judge you for having sex with strangers or didn’t look down on your desire to be a sex slave or if you have interest in beastiality bondage leather latex or total submission then message me it only bite when we meet lol. I’m a raging perv but I have a sence of humor about it.”

Dude! If you’re actually going to advertise for a woman that is into bestiality, at least learn how to spell it! Being a raging perv will only get you so far in life. Spelling, however, will get you everywhere…:-)
 

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