Sex and the Single Soccer Mom

This “Winner of the Day” blog is slightly different from the others. I couldn’t help but feel this man’s pain. 🙂 Clearly, there are other people having problems wading through the muck to find a gem.

I’ve read personal after personal on this godforsaken site, and I have learned one immutable, universal truth: You are all fucking delusional. Virtually every one of you. Did you even take a minute to proof-read these ads before you posted them? Aside from the fact that it looks like it was written by an eight year-old, it’s completely unreasonable and just downright ignorant. It’s subtext dripping with insecurity and niavete. I’ve only been browsing personals for a week or so now, and I’ve been prevvy to some real whoppers. We’ve all seen the sobsister who vicitimizes herself, almost trying to guilt some kind of relationship out of thin air. Then there’s the girl with the six different children from five different men. Are you kidding me? You don’t “Need a man.” What you need is a fucking condom. And then there’s the estranged wife looking for some sort of supplimental and discreet relationship. You don’t need an affair, you need a fucking case worker. And let’s not forget my personal favorite: The girl who claims to be meaningful and deep; Soulful, even. She talks about how looks aren’t important to her. How she’s looking for someone who can mentally and emotionally stimulate her. Then, of course, at the end of her ad she requests a photo. Typically stating that if you do not send one with your reply, she will not reply. If looks don’t matter then why… Fuck it. Who cares? You’re an idiot.

Look ladies, I’m not saying you have to be the hottest girl in the world, nor am I saying you need to be the smartest. But use your brain. It’s difficult enough to find a man, I’m sure, as it’s difficult for me to find the right woman. But with ads like these that you’re posting, all you’re going to end up with is the lowest common denominator. These bottom-feeders mooching around on the lowest rung, sponging off whomever will let them or alternately “hitting it and quitting it.” We’re not all like that, us guys, but we seem to suffer endlessly for the mistakes and misadventures of that one idiot who seems to ruin it for everyone. But, I suppose I should practice what I preach. Afterall, I woudn’t even be posting this if I hadn’t at least lost a substantial amount of faith in women. So, who knows?

I’m not saying that I’m better than any other guy. Not what I’m getting at. I’m fairly unnattractive, I’m sarcastic, a smartass, and I have countless other flaws that I don’t have time to list, nor do you have time to read. I can’t promise the world. In fact, I can only promise one thing: I am decent. In every sense of the word. If you’re interested, shoot me a reply.

This entry was posted on February 3, 2011 at 9:03 pm and is filed under Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.