The SASS Twin & Other Curiosities

The Sex-Addicted Sandwich Stealer (aka, SASS) has a twin brother. He has been showing up at the church I work at on Sundays, causing my heart to lurch sickly every time I see him. SASS told me long ago how competitive he and his twin have always been over women and, indeed, I see the glimmer of interest in the SASS twin’s eyes. This means I spend my Sunday mornings trying to dodge him, then trying to perfect my “I am not interested in having conversation with you, but still want to appear polite” face when he corners me. Yesterday, the spirit of SASS must have entered the twin (or perhaps its simply because they are twins), for I had a horrified moment of flashback. Twin grabbed a package of cookies sitting on the refreshment table, frantically ripped at the packaging, grabbed a handful and began cramming them in his mouth like a man possessed. He then grabbed several packages of sweetener and furtively shoved them in his pocket before leaving. Dare I say this duo has a problem with food???

In other news, after conversations, soul-searching and spending the night together twice, my lover and I are reunited. We have no commitment other than the vow of sexual monogamy and we are taking things very slowly. I’m torn between joy (and relief at not dating anyone but him) and fear. I’m trying really hard to focus more on living my life and enjoying the times when our lives intersect and less on trying to figure out what it all means…could mean…will mean in the future…could mean if the time-space continuum disintegrates and the world as we know it collapses. I think I’ve made my point.

Finally, I bought a marvelous new toy: Ladies, the discovery that A.) You can purchase this marvelous invention off Amazon, B.) It comes with very solid reviews on every single site researched (Yes, I research my sex toys in advance) and C.) It has a charger rather than having to constantly replace batteries made me willing to pay the hefty fee. It is worth every penny. However, after a couple of nights spent with my flesh-and-blood lover, I was again reminded that no matter how many orgasms I can achieve on my own, nothing compares to the real thing.

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