Hitting the January Slump

So, it’s been nearly 3 months since I became single and made the vow to not seek out dating (aka: Join or participate in any online dating sites). Yes, I realize that between then and now I slept with my ex-lover and prompted full closure to our on-again/off-again relationship. Still, I was very much single during that time. Despite not seeking dates, I still wound up going out with two different people. One I mentioned previously: Player with an ego, a fistful of red flags and a flakiness that made my skin crawl by the end of the second date. The second person I went out with is a sweet, sweet musician whom I met years ago. When he looked into my eyes and sang “Green Eyes” by Coldplay, how could I resist seeing how we would mesh? Especially when he mentioned that he’d wanted the date for 5 years! The evening we spent together was fun, comfortable and friendly; Unfortunately, it didn’t feel romantic. There weren’t sparks or chemistry, just a deep liking and affection. Not a bad date by any means, but not one it would be fair to repeat.

So that leaves me…single in January, the second-most depressing month of the year (the first being February). It’s cold, dreary and screams out for someone to cuddle with under a blanket. A person to have deep conversation with over a glass of wine or beside a crackling fire. Oh…and sex. Yes, January makes me wish I had someone to generate some heat with!

Suddenly, the good qualities of all my ex’s start to pop into my brain and I find myself mulling over the things I miss about them. Loneliness and the tendency to forgive and try to see the positive is a dangerous combination! It doesn’t help that I genuninely liked so many things about most of my ex’s, despite the ways in which our relationship didn’t work or my residual anger at them over specific things. Still, I didn’t really stay friends with any of them (the recent attempt at being “friends” with someone I was previously in a romantic relationship with was a disaster on multiple levels). So, contacting them is not an option.

Besides, this is just a slump. A January slump, prompted by the three month mark and the cold. I’ll continue to work on other things and before I know it, I’ll have met my six month challenge. Spring is a good time for the possibility of love, right?

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