No Sex & The Single Soccer Mom

So, I’ve taken a vow of chastity. Sort of. Today I feel the need to remind myself why I’ve decided to not put out in the near future. Or at least…pretty sure I’m not going to put out…sort of.

Perhaps you can tell I feel conflicted about this.

I’m dating someone new: Thirty-nine year old single father with a sharp wit, strong values, keen sense of responsibility, funny, educated and sexy. We’ve gone out several times over the course of the past month and things are going well. We’re not rushing into anything, simply enjoying each other’s company. Our last date took things to a new level physically. Yes, I can still get excited about a very mild second base! I was determined that things would NOT go further…

I would actually like to feel something other than like and lust for the next person I sleep with, before I sleep with them. Some of the people that I’ve slept with I have ended up falling in love with after the fact. Still, the “putting the cart before the horse” phrase keeps occuring to me. This isn’t a moral stand in any way. I’d just like to go about this in a different way and see if I get different results.

The over-the-top sexual antics and activity with my past relationship left me feeling like I needed a break for awhile; the last five weeks or so have not been a hardship.  Yet frankly, between hormones and the stress of other areas of my life, I feel like jumping my date for tomorrow night. I mean…seriously.

So now my body and heart and mind are in total conflict. My heart and mind are telling me to wait and my body is screaming that if he touches me at all (and I’m fairly confident that he will), all resolve will dissolve. I want this to go s-l-o-w-l-y. The only way to make that happen is to not rush things physically.

Sigh.

Apparently it is time to stock up on batteries.

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