Homework and Monday Blues

Another weekend come and gone, which makes me immensely sad. I spent my weekend ferrying children around OR making good on promises of playdates and sleepovers.

Last night, during the few hours I had without my children, I finally got around to doing my homework assignment from my therapist. I was instructed to write a letter (using pen and paper, so I couldn’t edit) in a stream of consciousness style, describing my anger and hurt toward a specific person with absolutely no filtering. It was challenging. My upbringing, the modeling I received from my parents, my almost overwhelming need to avoid conflict and be the woman that no one dislikes…well, that adds up to some serious problems expressing anger. Armed with a glass of wine and several blank sheets of paper, I wrote and wrote and wrote. I cried through a lot of it, then I managed to get down to the nitty gritty stuff. Four pages later, I was completely exhausted.

Now, faced with the entire week, I simply want to curl up in bed and refuse to get up. Of course, this is NOT what I’ll do. I’ll do what I do week after week and be moderate and responsible. The need for immoderation is rising in me though…Now if only I can make it until Friday.


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