Okay…this a frivolous and somewhat superficial ramble, so bear with me…
I was a born a blonde. Over the years I’ve experimented with other colors, but my favorite “alter-ego” color by far has been red. For the last 3-4 years I’ve been a redhead and loved it. Not because I didn’t like my natural color; actually, I’ve always really loved my real hair. I just really, really like red hair and it looks good on me.
The last few months though, I’ve been thinking about being a blonde again. Then I realized whenever I dream, I’m always a blonde in the dream. So, I decided to take the plunge and go back to my “roots” so to speak…or at least as close as my stylist could get. On a Friday I spent four hours in the salon chair and emerged looking quite different. It might not be the exact same shade as my totally uncolored hair, but it’s really close. I was thrilled.
Then, during my meditation one evening, a funny thought came to me. The thought was: “Now I’m ready to meet my life partner.” It took me aback a little bit, but as I started to play the thought out and try to figure out where it came from, some interesting ideas emerged. Whenever I’ve dated someone, I’ve had this tiny insecurity in the back of my mind that wonders how disappointed they’d be if I was no longer a redhead. I know that seems silly AND if a hair color mattered that much to them, they wouldn’t be someone I’d want to be with long-term. Still, it sometimes crept into my mind. I had a similiar thought years ago when I was planning my wedding. I was a redhead then as well, but wanted to get married with my “real” hair. Something about the artifice on a day of taking life-long (or what I assumed would be, at the time) vows felt wrong to me.
Now, barring a tiny bit of cosmetics and the occasional push-up bra (come on, compared to most, that’s not much artifice in today’s world!), I’m pretty damned authentic. Now I won’t have to worry about covering up my blonde roots every six weeks or getting the occasional: “So, are you red ALL over?” question.
So, okay, maybe it’s just a haircolor change. Perhaps it’s a silly thought. Still, I’ll take all the positive affirmation I can get that once I begin to open myself back up to dating more fully, I’ll meet an amazing guy that I click with for more than a few dates…or months…or a couple of years. Who knows?
Sex and the Single Soccer Mom 