A Break

Posted in Dating on March 30, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

I leave in three days for a much-needed vacation with my children. I’ve realized that I am stressed out, overwhelmed, exhausted and thoroughly depleted. The timing of my absence is perfect, because I need some time to meditate and walk on the beach and think things over.

I can no longer ignore the red flags in my new relationship. Behaviors that I thought at first might simply be quirks of personality, time and more information has disqualified as quirky and painted in a much more troubling light. Things nearly came to an end a month ago, yet I agreed to keep trying to make it work. I feel we’ve reached a crossroads though and that to not acknowledge this relationship is turning into a lot of work and stress, rather than something that brings me joy and a sense of well-being, would be unkind on my part. He is professing some intense feelings for me and talking about “the rest of our lives”. Of course, this early into the relationship, that’s somewhat of a red flag by itself, athough it was such a novel experience that it was exciting.

There is part of me that is sad that this isn’t going to work. Interest in commitment and meeting my children had me giddy with possibilities. The physical attraction/chemistry also kept the relationship going; Odd how those things start to fade as dysfunction enters.

Most of me simply feels relieved to be making a decision. A relationship shouldn’t be more work than joy, especially two and a half months in. The times when I’ve felt stressed or uncomfortable being with him, I attributed to newness and awkwardness that would wear off in time. Instead, the feeling that I am constantly having to tweak, explain, soothe, confront or bite my tongue is growing. He’s got a lot of things going for him…but his demons and mine aren’t playing together nicely.

So, I will give myself the week to be certain (although I’m pretty much already there) and then when I get back I will have to find the words to make him understand, gently, that it isn’t going to work. This breakup will not be as emotionally devastating as the last one, although it may be harder to do because of his feelings….

Then I will be truly single once again. If I’ve learned anything in the past few years, it’s that being alone is better than being with the wrong person….and that no matter what, I will survive it!

Winner of the Day (Seriously!)

Posted in Dating on March 14, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

 

Tired of trying to sucker unsuspecting Craigslisters into going to your bogus Adult personals website and putting in their credit card info? Get back to me and we can interface for some hot fun. I’ll claim to be tall, rich, good with kids, well-endowed and ready to settle down. You can tell me that you are thin, blonde, with d-cups, looking for something physical with no strings and strangely attracted to men 15 years older than you. Then we can exchange links and get really hot and heavy. Don’t worry, I always use protection (Norton Anti-virus), and this is my first time posting on Craigslist (except all those other times). If things go well the first time, maybe we could even get together again and do some phishing or send out emails to old people claiming to be the lawyer of their long lost wealthy relative from Namibia. Please be real and DDF or at least say that in your response. Pictures (that I will never look at) are required or I will delete your email without reading. Hope to hear from you soon.

 

Winnder of the Day!

Posted in Dating on March 14, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

While admitting that he is…ahem…not a materialistic person (See? You can put a great spin on EVERYTHING!), stating that IF he finds a girlfriend she would have to be very understanding…well, it’s a novel approach.  

Alright, so here’s the deal, I basically work for my family; I don’t have any official job, so I make very little money. Since I make so little money I could never afford car insurance, so I don’t drive. You have anything to say about this? Go right ahead, I’ll happily talk with you about it. My family and I, we get by, we’re happy, we stick together.

I am always looking for good understanding people to talk with, get to know, and maybe become friends with.
I really would love to have a girlfriend, but boy, she will have to be a very understanding person. I know I could be a great boyfriend/companion, even with my faults. Ya just got to get to know me.

I am who I am. If you can’t take me with the bad, then you sure don’t deserve me at my best! Also If there is a girl out there please be fit, active, and healthy. Be willing to use email or IM. No phone numbers, and please post pictures.

Winner of the Day!

Posted in Dating on March 7, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

Notice how he tries to lure the ladies in with promises of romance and adventure first, then saves the “obedience” and “punishment” portion of his desires for later?

I’m a sweet guy who believes in taking care of a girl and truly spoiling her. I believe the guy should pay for dinner, open doors… as well as provide the occasional flowers and chocolates. I am romantic, adventurous, and love to travel.

I love to travel and see new places. Road trips, flying, you name it. I would love someone to travel and go on adventures with. My friends are either too busy or can’t afford to travel.

I am Dominant (24/7, not just in the bedroom) by nature and looking for a submissive partner. I know that type of relationship isn’t for everyone, but it is what I’m seeking.

You should respond to this ad if:

YOU LOVE TO BE TAKEN CARE OF – I’m a romantic at heart and love to spoil and take care of my girl. I want to cherish her, love her, and provide for her safety and happiness always. If you’re a bigger girl don’t be afraid to write – curvy girls are beautiful too!

YOU ALWAYS PUT YOUR MAN FIRST – you can listen and trust your man with the decisions. He’s #1 in your life and you are dedicated to pleasing him. You are happiest when he’s happiest. If you have kids (which is OK) – I can understand they likely come first – just so long as I’m second.

YOU DRESS TO PLEASE YOUR MAN – you don’t mind wearing what your man selects each day and you might even enjoy him helping dress you occasionally. You’ll always know I’m happy with how you look. Short on cute outfits? No problem, we’ll go shopping together.

YOU LOVE TO BE AT YOUR MAN’S SIDE (and not leave it) – If we’re out and about (shopping, adventure, etc.) I would expect you either at my side or within arms reach at all times. If you needed to dash off for any reason (potty, etc) you would politely ask first, then patiently wait until you were excused…

“OBEDIENCE” DOES NOT SCARE YOU – your desire is to please, listen to, and obey your man. In the [hopefully rare] cases when you fail to do so you are willing to accept your punishment (which could include spanking, corner time, loss of privileges, etc.)

YOU DESIRE A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP – you are ready for a serious, long-term relationship that could lead to marriage. I don’t want to rush into anything, but I want someone who is tired of the dating scene and ready to settle down. I’m not looking for games, casual dating, or anyone just playing the field.

 

Panic! At the L Word…

Posted in Dating on March 5, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

Note to self: It is not really very smart to draw back in horrified, anxious outrage when someone tells you they love you and blurt out: “You can’t say that to me yet!” Nor is it a good follow-up to try to explain your panic with explanations of the difference between “loving” something and being “in love” with something (i.e., “I love pizza” vs. “I am in love with pizza”) and your acceptance of the probable fact that the person was simply expressing an “in the now” emotion. Also, not helpful to stammer like an idiot and say, in defense of your idiocy: “It’s not possible to love someone after two months!” Nope, not really very polished…

Is it possible to love someone after two months?

Yes, I am somewhat of a control freak in relationships. I want to know the probable outcome of the relationship before I give my heart away. Have I broken that rule? Absolutely! Did it go well for me? NEVER! So now I am attempting to be methodical and level-headed and plot out our compatibility, while he is whispering beautiful words of romance into my ear. I am tentatively planning a date for a month from now and thinking it is a HUGE leap of faith for me to do so and he is talking about getting a family membership to the local activity center.

Part of me wants to jump. I want to open up my arms and abandon myself to this growing tide of feeling and simply fall off the edge of the cliff. The terrified, wounded, cautious part of me is whimpering in anxiety and wanting to pull back for each step closer to the brink that I come.

I’m trying to meet him in the middle. I want so very much to be loved, yet I want to make sure that it is true and right before I fully let that love in. I don’t want him to change his mind in a month. Or even worse, say something back that I’m not certain of, only to realize in a month that we aren’t right for each other.

Still, the last time a man told me he loved me was well over a year ago…and he had already walked out of my life. To believe that love is within my grasp is a terrifying, yet giddy feeling. I’m feeling a sense of joy just thinking about it. Now, I’m just going to go and sit with my head between my knees until the dizziness and anxiety attack pass…

Winner of the Day!

Posted in Dating on March 4, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

Reading this ad was exhausting. I understand the need to try to be comprehensive…but, dude, write a book if you want to expound on your relationship theories! This is NOT the way to actually get a relationship!

There is a lot I don’t understand when it comes to people and their outlook on love. One thing I don’t get is when people say does he/she have there “shit together”. I think that sounds a little too materialistic to me. Is that what love is all about, material things?
Is having money and nice things is what keeps a couple together for a lifetime? To me, I don’t really think so. Because you have a fancy ride, a high paying job and a nice home doesn’t mean you have your “shit together”. I feel you have your “shit together” when you know who you are on the inside and you open your heart to love a woman for who she is and everything she is about, without any doubts. I think you have your “shit together” when you figure out what real love is and that it has nothing to do with money or judgments that bring you in doubt. Learning to love someone for who they are is so simple when a person can set aside their insecurities and there selfish ways and love someone fully as one. To look at them every day without any doubts and say “I love you” without thinking twice about it. I just feel love should be free with happiness and caring and full of trust. Inner strength that makes you feel comfortable to be with that person without any worries and doubts. Holding them and loving them every day and knowing who you really are so there is no change in the future that will destroy the love that was built by both hearts. To me unconditional love doesn’t seem to exist anymore and it’s so sad because so many are missing out on so much happiness in life. Loving someone and building their confidence to be proud of whom they are is a wonderful feeling. Cause I know that, If you can do that for someone, then you will get that in return. It’s the natural part of loving someone. That’s real love.

All I know is, I’m here being myself. This is me and this is how I feel. I want to only be with someone that can be themselves and never have to worry about trying to be someone they don’t want to be, to make the other one happy. It’s so cruel what I see when I go out and how couples treat each other, I just know a lot about love and I have felt the beauty of it and I know what it can do. It’s a very beautiful feeling if people would just open up their hearts and feel it. When I go out to places I have noticed that some women/men are being a little too selective. “You are not looking for a job; you are looking for a Love.” I am not trying to put anyone down what so ever, but I myself have been down that selective road before. I always judged people by their looks and what I can benefit from them, from being with them. And WOW. I learned the hard way. And almost all women and men learn the hard way later in life. The couple is never happy and they just split. People change, and when the love fails its only because the couple went after what they can benefit from and not the true love that lies deep in their hearts. I truly feel that some people’s expectations way too much and they shouldn’t be anyway. Only your heart can decide if the person is right for you. Not your mind. Love with your heart and you will see more happiness than you ever have.

I think somewhere in people’s lives, they stopped thinking with their hearts and they let their minds take over which brought their standards up. They didn’t know they did it. It just happens. It happens to a lot of people. Being with people that lie and cheat and back stab etc, can really hurt people for so long. They slowly build this wall on their hearts throughout the years and start becoming very selective. I can understand why it happens. Hell, it happened to me. There still isn’t any sense in taking it out on people you don’t know. We are all different in our own ways. Thinking too much about someone with your mind will only bring trouble down the road which will bring you right back to where you started. Judging within a second is terrible to me. It’s only the mind not letting the heart give a chance to that person. People will be surprised if they can give that chance. It doesn’t matter if there not the cutest person in the world, or have a new car or a lot of money. This world is too fast paced and people have forgotten about the true values of love. People today should take their time and think with their hearts. Let that flower bloom inside of you and reach out for the right person that will love you unconditionally. Their money, or job or whatever else you expected at one time will no longer made a difference., cause you truly love them for who they are, and not what they are about.

I don’t like it when women are down on themselves and don’t think they are good for anyone, and i hate it that guys make them feel that way. That is about the only thing I hate. Every woman is special in their own little way, and there special way should be only loved and respected. I think that if you can’t do that, then don’t get with them. Why get with someone you feel uncomfortable with on the inside??? It’s only going to cause more damage down the road. To her, to him and if you have children, it will also damage them. Children need that sense of security of a loving home to be raised in to see the true values of a loving mom and dad to learn from, so they can carry it on in their life and love one the same as they was taught growing up. I’m only 31 years old but I figured this out at a early age in my life.

People who have spent their lives hurting others, not caring for others, using others, being selfish, and just plain heartless is a sickness. A sickness that was brought on with time from either a poor upbringing or just plain out young and dumb and don’t care. As people get older they get lonely. They look around at happy couples, they hear stories how so and so have been married so long, and they see the bond that’s build between 2 people as they just sit at a dinner table to eat with their family. There are a million things that can make a person wonder. Wonder if this road they are on is the right road. Is this road brought me true loving happiness?, has this road made my heart feel whole?. This is the things all people think later in their lives as there heart starts to mature. Some hearts are damaged by a lot and some stay cold. But, they do think it. A lot will live this way thinking it till the day they die, as some minds aren’t capable of understanding what it will take to open there heart to change into a person that’s ready to really love someone. Death plays a big role in people’s lives. Losing a loved one can really bring a heart down. It can bring a person down to their knees as they lay and cry and just ask why. Why did this happen to me? That’s the biggest question that people asks themselves. With time they only feel there heart getting weaker as the day’s move forward as they miss that loved one and try there hardest to give the best respect for them. with time the heart starts to settle as new emotions start coming in. Different emotions, Ones you haven’t felt before. You feel if you now live in a totally different world than other people do. What many don’t understand is, that death you encountered did not make you weaker. You know you felt weaker, it didn’t. It only made you stronger as the new emotions rolled into your heart and matured it. It made it stronger for you and someone else. It gave you more power to love someone; it made you wiser on whom to choose. It did so much for you, that most live in shock for a long time trying to sort out the emotions in their hearts to put the puzzle pieces back together again to only make them stronger and wiser. Some don’t give enough time to figure out who they are, some rush and live in constant cycles of unhappiness. But the ones who do, grow stronger morals, faith in there selves, they look back at how they once was and realize that, that wasn’t what love is all about. This is. Not only a loss of a loved one helps us understand this maturity of our heart as we get older. Some are lucky enough to just give themselves time to their selves in life as they got older and realized that who they once was, was getting old to them. Anything can happen to someone to make them see the true beauty of love. I know I have. If you can believe in yourself, than others will believe in you. When others start believing in you with time, than you will know your heart is finally mature to carry on a beautiful healthy relationship. If so, the sickness is healed.

Change is something we all do in our lives. Some change for the best and some Change for the worst. How do you trust someone that says they have changed? Do you just accept it and move on, or do you hold their past problem against them, to carry it in your mind to use it against them in the future. Do you give it a week? Do you give it a month? A year? Do you carry that doubt you have for them that long? Most people do. Most people live in doubt always worried if they are going to change back into the person that you hated. That doubt builds up inside and it only makes that person heart head into another direction. A direction that it shouldn’t be going into. A direction that takes time, but in time it usually leads into someone else. Saying I will change for the best in a relationship isn’t always the best thing to say. Because now the other has something to doubt about.

Learning to love someone truly is easy. Getting to know them is easy. Opening your heart to learn them is easy. All it takes is patience. With patience, love can go so far in life. Looking at the person and learning their movements, learning their feelings, listening to them talk and getting their opinions on things, talking with them about just life in general, will teach so much. Having the patience to love someone with communications can go so far. Learning there vibes and emotions shown from that person to always know what they like and don’t like. Respecting that and not doing what they don’t like. With love and patience your heart slowly builds as one to respect the others feeling. With love, you don’t hate them feelings, which at one time you thought you would. The reason is, with patience, the hearts grew together to love one another and now they are happy together to love and Respect the wishes of the other. That happens with patience. Love grows with Patience. So what is there to change? If you really love the person than your inner instinct should have told you, without her knowing, that you needed to change. You change out of love. If you truly in your heart love this person, than changing without them knowing is the best way to love someone. Only patience can make it happen. Some argue, some disagree, but coming to terms with it and letting it go is the 2 hearts loving as 1, to forget about the problem and moving on. People say nobody should change for anybody. But that’s not true. When 2 hearts start to work together with time and patience, they can only change each person for the best. The person becomes better for their self and there partner. And that’s change. Without it spoken. It just happens. To only bring happiness for the both. Love just happens and so does change. It happens for the best of both hearts.

I am not really into the bar scene and I don’t really feel comfortable meeting someone for the first time “drunk”. I am a very open minded person with a huge heart and plenty of morals. I am not here to brag about myself or be a show off to get people’s attention. I am very mature for my age and only believe in doing the right thing. I have had some very rough times and I have had a lot of bad things happen to me but all of that has only made me stronger and who I have became today. I love to laugh and be sarcastic at times but only in a good way. I love the simple things in life. I don’t try to make everything a huge deal. Simple walks down the street or at a park, cooking burgers and hot dogs on the grill, setting up a tent and watching over the lake as the sun sets, pointless drives to the pop machine just to hold each other’s hand and sit and talk, going out for a few drinks and shooting some pool, catching a flick at the movies, not even really caring what’s playing on the screen, cuddling up on the couch and watching whatever is on the screen just to be held and to escape into pure comfort knowing your holding someone you love, endless touches, back rubs, kisses, morning surprises, I mean the list could fill this page of simple things that matter the most in a relationship, and it’s the little things that keep the bond strong and the happiness flowing. I’m a very simple person with a creative mind, very mechanically inclined ; I have my goofy times, my good days, my bad days and my sad days. All women do too. It’s a good feeling knowing someone is there to always help you through them times with an open heart and an open mind to walk you through and help you out with patience and understanding. I would love to find someone that will love me for who I am and nothing else. I have a very big loving heart that never stops. I am not the type that changes after a few weeks or months to only let the woman down and feel miserable. I am only looking for a woman that believes communication, respect, and understanding can make a relationship work. I would love to simply find someone to spend the rest of my life with to learn, love and cherish.

I believe family always comes first and that there happiness is 100%. I love for a woman to love the little things like I do. I think the little things make the biggest difference in a relationship when they are learned loved and respected. I feel they make the couple one. I don’t ever want to be put down for the little mistakes that I make in a relationship as I would never put anyone down. I love to laugh and be sarcastic at times but only in a good way. I think every woman has they’re cute little things they do and they might feel it’s stupid, but I believe it should only be loved which will only make a relationship last a lifetime.

Well, this is my story and I’m sticking to it ‘Cause I’ve got no reason to lie. Send me a message if you would like to talk more.

Clunking Along…

Posted in Dating on March 2, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

So, it would seem my blog is in danger of fizzling out. I have mixed feelings: On the one hand, I’m dating someone and it is going well. Yay! On the other hand, my tales of dating mishaps seem to be either on hold or at an end, thus compromising my creative project. Boo! As I feel that it would be disloyal to write about someone that I’m currently involved with, it seems that tales of romance with J are also off-limits. Which is a shame, really, as he is quite the entertaining partner!

I will be deeply pondering how to keep the blog alive, while maintaining a thriving romance. I’ll also be considering other creative ventures. Feel free to submit ideas, if you feel so inclined.

About J, I will only say that he is keeping life very interesting. I don’t think that I have felt more desired. He lets me know every time we’re together how much he wants to be with me and that our relationship is treasured. He discusses future plans with me without flinching; in fact, he seems eager to talk about the future.  I don’t know (nor does anyone ever know) if this will last forever, but for now it feels very healing.

Winner of the Day!

Posted in Dating on February 21, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

Now, this is exactly what every woman is looking for…

Seeking Weekend Fun ~ 52

Hey I’m looking for girls. I’m into game playing, drinking, and one night stands. Actually looking for buddy go clubbin with me and stay with me and cuddle rest of night. I’m generous and passive! later

Winner of the Day!

Posted in Uncategorized on February 15, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

I’m still trying to figure out if this is a legitimate ad or not. I’m soooo tempted to reply to this!

Wingwomen wanted! A wingwoman is a woman who goes into a social situation with the purpose of helping the guy or guys she is with meet women. This is actually an extremely easy and fun job, but many women find it so counter-intuitive that they simply cannot do it. The role is a wingwoman is to:

-Relax, laugh, have a good time, and emanate a genuine, positive energy.
-Recognize that her presence alone and her silence are often all that are needed!
-Understand or be willing to learn the counter-intuitive principals of how men really attract women.

This is not about you expressing your opinion on relationships, dating, how you think dating should take place, or offering advice. What it is about is getting paid to have a great time doing the most fun, exciting, easy job you have ever done!

I am a classy professional who is from out of state and heard of someone that employed four part-time wingwomen for the past year. I have recently moved to Louisville, and am looking to hire two part-time wingwomen to join me at cocktail parties, nights out at the best lounges and clubs, charity events, and other happenings.

My goal is to find a serious relationship with the right woman, and to have a lot of fun searching for her and meeting new people in the process. Please include a photo with your response. I look forward to hearing from you, and possibly to working with you!

•Compensation: $10-15/hr

A Crossroads

Posted in Dating on February 14, 2011 by sexandthesinglesoccermom

So, I’m still dating J, although things are progressing from “dating” to “relationship”. I’m still trying to be somewhat cautious with my heart; I have no desire to get hurt again. Still, I have a good feeling about this guy. He’s not without his flaws obviously, yet he has already shown that he is willing to communicate and work through the speed bumps that come along.

His lover-boy past gives me a tiny bit of concern. To say that he’s been popular with the ladies would be an understatement. Yet I believe him when he says he’s searching for more now; he’s old enough to possibly be past the age when a simple conquest is all that he’s looking for. He is making shifts in his life to be with me more, he has told me that he wants to meet my children when I’m comfortable with that and he tells me that he adores me often.

This is the point in a new relationship where I start to get nervous .  The chemistry between us is hot enough that I am hoping that I’m not allowing that to influence me too much. We can spend hours just wrapped up in each other. Is that a good thing? Once the intensity comes down, will we still want each other? The first few dates are easy for me; I barely even feel nervous. Once I start to realize that I miss the other person’s voice, their smell, hearing the sound of their voice…well, the stakes are higher. When he spends long moments staring into my eyes and stroking my hair, I can feel a tiny flutter in my heart that tells me I could be in trouble. This is the first time since I was married that I haven’t felt like the other person was holding back. If anything, I am the one holding back now.Yet I know that his wooing is starting to weaken my walls. What would it be like to be in love with someone who loved me back, without reservations? Someone who actually knew what they wanted and was willing to do the work necessary to have it?

I’m somewhat excited about having the opportunity to find out!